Monday, 12 March 2012

Sunday, 11 March 2012
So its day 2, usually by this point I'm fed up on a diet, and yep I'm fed up lol. 
After posting yesterday I went downstairs and I cooked the one dish I'm confident at, Slimming World Cottage pie, so that's in the fridge for tomorrow night. Chris come home and ate the left over Chinese from Thursday so I decided to make an omelette. I love omelette's but I cant make them for love nor money, it basically went wrong, I had like scrambled eggs, with peppers, ham and mushrooms and while it was OK it wasn't the omelette I envisioned but hey it was healthy, ate it with salad and felt very proud of myself. 
Only bad thing to pass my lips was some cake mixture but we all know cake mixture don't count lol, Chris went and played poker so made sum flapjacks and cakes for the boys, I love making cakes, unfortunately I also love eating them but last night I resisted and made Chris take them all with him. 
And I was good I didn't eat anything after my tea at all, had a chilled night with a friend and went to bed, not before looking at some random blogs to see what other people write and do etc, one girl just blogged EVERYTHING she ate and calorie count, god talk bout boring, 1 lettuce leaf, 15 calories, 1 tomato 15 calories etc etc. If I ever get like that someone kill me pls! 
So this morning I got up, Chris not here and ate some toast and yogurt for brekkie, lunch was a pain as we went out and the boys wanted roast so went to a pub but roast was all they done grrrr! But I am happy to say I was good, I only ate 2 potatoes and half a Yorkshire and the rest was meat and Veg, I'm a proper believer in not letting a diet stop you from going out, I just gotta learn to make the right choices and I don't think I did bad, n the potatoes were lush so leaving them was ultra hard.
I also did some more cooking today so I'm proud of that as I hate cooking, made some brown rice, chucked a load of veg in it and sum leftover sausage in the fridge, that's my lunch sorted all week so proud of that. 
Lots of people have commented or text me saying how brave I am being by putting my heart, soul and fat bum out there for people to see but honestly its not bravery, partly stupidity and partly cause like a lot of women I try to be good but fail, and I'm hoping that by sharing it means I'm to embarrassed to fail. I bet there are certain people having a right laugh but you know what I just do not care. Chris I think is very bemused by this all, he read my blog yesterday and you can tell he thinks I'm mad posting very unattractive pics and telling the world my weight but hes a man they don't get it and he wont ever totally understand, I also think hes a bit like 'heard all this before' which to be fair he has and although hes supportive if I'm honest he could be better but hopefully once I get going he will understand I am serious this time.
So as well as eating healthily I know I need to exercise and I asked Chris to help me with this as I hate exercise with a passion, plus my asthma and half a lung can make it awkward, so decided on swimming. So tomorrow night its gonna be whale time at Taunton Pool, the getting in the costume doesn't really bother me but I think its casue I hate my body that much and am so embarrassed by it anyway getting in a costume just doesn't make it any worse. Once you have no self esteem it cant get any lower plus swimming I don't actually mind so now just to get me butt and Chris butt in gear and go. 
I've been thinking a lot about motivation and how to keep going when the going gets tough and trying to find the thing that will help, Chris before has told me he will buy me a whole new wardrobe if I get to a size 10 but that just doesn't motivate me, maybe because I take no interest in clothes, when your fat your fat and nothing looks good so why bother trying. 
Before Christmas I had to go buy new work trousers in a 18 and I didn't even blink an eyelid, now I find that scary, an 18, I have never been that fat. When I met Chris I was a size 14 and in 16 months gone up 2 sizes, if I keep on at this rate obesity just round the corner, so I went and bought new trousers and didn't even bat an eyelid or maybe I just have been hiding these things in the back of my mind as I knew if I thought of it I would have to sort myself out....... who knows. 
So not a particularly hilarious post today but I want this to be an honest account, right now I am so craving crap food, don't even think I'm hungry just craving it but I will abstain, there is a lovely lettuce leaf in the fridge I will go munch. YUMMY! 
Till next time my lovely fat fighters! xx


  1. Not that I'm any guru, but great breakfast choice and good work on the lunch, saving pennies and lbs! It takes will power to not join in on left over take-away i know.

    Come round with some eggs soon as i'll teach you about omelettes. Honestly, i know that sounds crazy from the girl who can't eat eggs, but the whole reason i'm allergic is cause i used to eat omelettes every day.

    Kate-bird xx

    1. Hey Bird!

      Thanks, will deffo take u up on omelettes offer. Looking forward to 25th xx